womanwithoutaface

I am a woman without a face, and without a name, I am hair and body and features, but I have no mouth with which to speak and no eyes with which to see. Man has taken my mouth, and woman has taken my eyes.

I was feeling rather morose today when I decided that the female race is in a state of decay. Perhaps that isn’t true, there are many beautiful women who exist intelligently aware of their surroundings. However many, and this number seems to be growing, seem content to compete with each other and to hide themselves from the emotion, passion and beauty that all woman possess. Instead they use these features, as a means to an end, we are no longer creatures who possess these qualities unto ourselves. Instead woman has given them to others to consume and destroy. Yet we cannot openly relate to each other, we cannot stand naked before one another and display our wounds, in fear we will be seen as weak, and get eaten by the wolves. But the truth of the matter is, when you pass that girl on the bridge and your eyes meet, she probably feels your pain, and in that moment you are sisters, but this is a phenomenon most choose to ignore.

We are faces that do not talk; to each other or to men. Often women are simply content to be hair and make up and a body that goes to the gym 6 days a week. We are constantly in a state of theatrics. For what purpose? University is so unique in the fact that it is one of the few public arenas that gives you the time and the space for free speech. Yet women are almost entirely voiceless on campus. When we ask a friend ‘how are you today’ we don’t expect any sort of honest response. Perhaps this is currently the condition of humanity at large. Yet I find an ever increasing emphasis on the importance of the surface level of woman. And this emphasis does not just come from men. Women have begun to alienate one another. Dominated by our own everyday trivialities, we could be sitting beside some one who is simultaneously a stranger and our best friend. Because some where along the way, we have forgotten how to reach out to one another, and truly examine the beautiful people we have become. And if all we are, is shape, and clothes. What happens when that is taken away? Whether it is media, or simply peer pressure, society has created a standard which is both empty, and near impossible to achieve. We hold ourselves to expectations that have nothing to do with leading fulfilling and happy lives. It is always about this calorie and that, but at the end of the day, when a woman walks into a room, and every man’s head turns, she probably just wishes some one would stop and ask her how she’s feeling today. But nobody asks. Those who don’t fit this new standard of beauty feel invisible, and those who do, are faces without mouths. Why should any woman be content to play this role, in spaces of free speech and free thought woman are all trapped in the bathroom mirrors. Nervously glancing around at one another constantly comparing, but we all become mirror images. When you see that other woman on the bridge her eyes are mirrors of the insecurity and loneliness you may often feel. Because it is truly lonely to be a woman in a world where beauty is only visible on surface levels, and we are forced to hide behind its calculated standards. Because the truth is, we forget to ask, what are your dreams? We cannot stand naked before each other simply as woman, we cannot ask, how did we get here? Why are so many people sad about their bodies? Where have our goddesses gone?

It’s true, that the objectification and oppression of woman is not a new phenomenon. What is different about the contemporary woman is that she has the world at her doorstep. Free and equal opportunity to education, to enter the work force, and most importantly be respected and valued for things separate from her sexuality. Woman has the power to transcend the state of being the “other” the object; she can become the subject of her life. Yet so many women still feel as if sexuality is limited to a very specific appearance and that it is their most important asset. Even the most intelligent women have trouble separating themselves from their appearance, and wear their sexuality as one wears clothes. People want to be viewed as so much more than an image, yet there lies this divide. Woman everywhere are terrified to let go of their sexuality, afraid that when that sexuality is lost, they will be too. So long have woman lived with the stigma that they are inferior, that their importance is surface level. Now more than ever there is a need for every woman to transcend this oppressive feeling. Women are unique in the emotion and beauty they possess, it is with this passion in mind that they need to cast off the clothes that keep them in hiding. Sexuality can play second fiddle to the greatness that every woman has the ability to achieve. It is terrifying to think that behind the clothes and the make up and the sexuality we are just people, just the decisions we make, and the way we affect the world. Terrifying yes, but beautiful. And without the cover of sexuality we are forced to actively join the aching humanity we are surrounded by. It is our job to give each other back our eyes. We have to stop seeing ourselves as the enemy, stop seeing the emotion and passion that is unique to us as a burden but rather a guiding force in harnessing the sisterhood we belong to.

sharon